Gregory Vaine
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he Ballad of Bobby McStone


Come right on OVERTURE and I’ll tell you THE BALLAD OF BOBBY MCSTONE.

As a kid, Bobby is SO STRANGE that his dad becomes worried that he won’t fit in and takes it upon himself to try and change him. Bobby’s mom writes her husband a warning song, threatening to leave him if he doesn’t learn to accept and support Bobby, and promising that if that happens, she will get CUSTODY.

Then Bobby sings LOVE SONG FOR MY PARENTS, in hopes that it will bring his family back together.

It works, and his parents tell him "IT'S UP TO YOU, NOW BOBBY." Then Bobby’s dad pulls him aside and admits, "YOU’RE DADDY USED TO BE A ROCKER."

School starts, and Bobby’s SHOOTING FOR B’S.

He starts jamming with some friends from school, and pretty soon he realizes, "hey, WE’RE A BAND."

Bobby writes an original tune for his final presentation in music class, taught by the sinister MRS. BELL, and when it is over she delivers a speech tearing him apart, and belittling his talent and mocking his dedication. Bobby is mentally scarred, and is still reeling from the effect on GRADUATION DAY.

After school, Bobby decides to just play covers in a BAR BAND, and not pursue his own music.

Walking down the street one day, Bobby sees Mrs. Bell, and after receiving a lecture, has to tell her too late to WATCH OUT FOR THAT BUS.

After watching Mrs. Bell die, something in Bobby’s mind is released, and his heart is filled with one goal: I WANT TO ROCK!

Bobby starts a new band with his old friends, and soon he writes his first philosophical song, PLAY GUITAR NOW.

Bobby meets a wonderful girl and realizes that LOVE IS. He tries playing classic old songs for her, but they don’t fully describe his feelings, so he writes her a BRAND NEW LOVE SONG.

A recording of that song gets on the radio, and soon the record companies want Bobby McStone and the Stony Express to SIGN, SIGN, SIGN. When Bobby starts asking about artistic control and publishing rights, the greasy record company man comes out and tells him there is NO ALTERNATIVE (TO ME.)

Bobby leaves and says, "Fuck them, I’m gonna DO IT MYSELF." He releases an album, and a song called "Play Guitar Now" gets picked up by radio, and they make a video for it, and next thing you know it’s #4 WITH A BULLET.